My Church Pew Buddy

I love Marilyn Howland. She is one of my favorite people. Every Sunday morning she sits on the pew in front of me at First Baptist Church, San Antonio. (It would actually be more appropriate to say that I sit on the row behind her so I can nudge her when she starts dozing during the pastor’s sermon.
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This past Sunday the worship service was close to starting but Marilyn was no where in sight. I got down on my hands and knees and looked under her pew thinking that she might have slipped in un-noticed, fallen asleep and her limp body had slithered to the floor. It was a wasted effort because she wasn’t there either.
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Out of deep concern, I asked someone on her row if they knew where she was. It was then that I learned that she had, a few days earlier while attending a funeral service at the church, slipped and fallen to the floor — landing flat on her face. From what I hear she is quite banged up but is expected to recover from this terrible accident. For this I am thankful.
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What caused Marilyn to fall? No one knows for sure but there are several theories bantering around the church.
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It is a well-known fact amongst the Baptist brethern that Marilyn is no spring chicken since she is a few years older than I am. Some Theologians believe that accidents such as this happen because the Lord uses “Senior Citizens” as examples as to how gravity works.
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Some people who don’t know Marilyn as well as I do think that alcohol might have been involved. I totally reject this theory although it could be theoretically possible that she might take a nip or two for medicinal purposes only.
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The most plausible explanation for the accident is as follows: During her younger days it is common knowledge that Marilyn could “Boogie-Woogie” with the best of them. I have learned from fairly reliable sources that Marilyn was on her way to the ladies room when she, by chance, met the pastor in the hallway. He greeted her and told her that he had recently returned from a trip to Charleston, South Carolina. Marilyn had evidently forgotten to wear her hearing aid that day and in her mind she thought the pastor was asking her to Charleston.
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I don’t for even one moment think that Marilyn accidently tripped and fell to the ground. There is sufficient evidence to indicate that she was zapped by a lightening bolt for dancing in a Baptist church.
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