I don’t know if there is something magnetic about my personality but for some reason I seem to attract the most interesting friends.  I remember my youngest daughter telling me during her High School dating days that she seemed to attract a bunch of weirdos.  Come to think of it, maybe that would be a better description for some of my friends.
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I’ve previously written about my friend Dan who was chased by a swarm of wasps while playing golf and my friend Ted who had a bobcat confiscate his golf ball while he was playing golf and refused to give it back to him. In my last post, I told you about my friend Marilyn who often takes a siesta during the worship service at our church. Now I ask you — Do  these seem like normal friends? I think not.
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Just when I think things can’t get worse along comes a “you won’t believe it story” that happened to one of my best friends who I will refer to as Frank in order to protect his true identity. If there was ever a normal person in this world Frank would be it. He is a graduate of one of our Service Academies with a degree in Engineering and is a high “muckety-muck” executive with a Fortune-500 company. Frank is a man’s man. Nothing “sissy” about him.
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I was talking by phone to Frank a few months ago and he told me that he had been to the Doctor regarding a small lump he noticed on his chest. Reluctantly, he also told me that the doctor had ordered a mammogram for him. Being a true friend, I expressed my concern for his well-being while at the same time trying to suppress laughing out loud. The good Lord just seems to drop cartoon ideas in my lap.
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Friends and Family Cartoons --Frank

As it turned out Frank was OK for which I am thankful.  He did tell me after the procedure was over:  “I just don’t know why women make such a big fuss over having a mammogram.  There’s really nothing to it.”

Golf is a funny game. When you watch the professionals, it seems like a such a simple process to hit the ball. After all, unlike baseball, the golf ball is just sitting there in a stationary position, just waiting to be hit. Anyone should be able to do it. Right?
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Wrong ! Boy are you ever wrong.
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There are a thousand different things to remember for you to play the game of golf as it is supposed to be played. One of the first things you need to learn is how to properly grip the club but probably more important than that is having the correct stance when standing over the ball.
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One of the most important fundamentals for being able to hit that little ol’ golf ball is to have a correct setup position.   When standing over the ball  your feet, knees, hips, forearms, shoulders and eyes should be positioned parallel to the target line. (You may need to hire an Engineer to play with you to be sure you have all the correct angles). Then, depending on the type of shot you want to make you must learn to stand over the ball correctly. You need to master different body contortions such as a Square Stance, a Closed Stance and an Open Stance. Those in the know will tell you that having the correct posture and balance is the secret to making proper contact with the golf ball.
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Do you understand now why golf is such a frustrating game? There are just too many durn things to remember. At my age I have trouble remembering where I placed my shoes from the night before. Can you imagine the trouble I have trying to remember 95 different body positions and 64 angles the body is supposed to be in to properly hit a golf ball.
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The only stance I was able to master while playing golf was called “The Potty Stance”.

Business Cartoons - The Potty Stance

This stance was used when nature called and the nearest restroom facility or tree was 2 miles away. The beauty of this stance was that it didn’t require any special training and anyone, from the amateur to the world’s best pro, could master it in just a few seconds. I think if I had used this stance on every hole I would have been a much better golfer because it definitely caused you to slow down on your swing.

I used to make fun of people who sat in the same pew, same location each time they attend church. I distinctly remember as a boy of 8 or 9 there was an older couple I only new as Mr. and Mrs. Terrell who laid claim to the left hand side of the third pew from the front of the First Baptist Church in Bisbee, Arizona.  I am almost positive they did not hold title to that piece of property they claimed as their own but every member of the church knew that was where the Terrells  sat and, out of respect, they steered clear of that particular pew.
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Being the little angel I was at that age, I am also positive that I was not the ring-leader of a bunch of boys my age who tried to beat the Terrells  to their pew and lay claim to that location. I think we only succeeded in beating them to their seat one time. We were so proud of ourselves for finally capturing that sacred piece of property.
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Our pride didn’t last long before the somewhat hefty Mrs. Terrell, followed by her rather small, frail looking husband, headed for their seat. Mrs. Terrell walked with a cane and she was all decked out in her Sunday best wearing a black church hat with a veil (which I assumed she wore while sleeping because I never saw her without it).
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When she noticed that we were occupying her space she bopped me on the top of my head with her black cane and said “You boys need to move along. This is our seat and don’t try to sit here again.” Needless to say, with fear and trembling, we left that pew as fast as our little legs could carry us.
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This memory reminds me that as I am approaching the stage in my life referred to as a “grumpy senior citizen”, the idea of having a specific church pew at my disposal each Sunday is becoming more appealing. Having your own pew gives you a good feeling of stability and accomplishment.
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My wife and I usually sit in the same location each Sunday at the First Baptist Church, San Antonio and there are two lovely, elderly ladies who, like Mrs. Terrell, have staked claim to the row directly in front of us. To my knowledge they have been sitting at that same location since Noah was gathering animals for the Ark. These perky ladies, who I will refer to as Marilyn and Jean, consider their pew as their home away from home. In fact, Marilyn has become so comfortable sitting there she thinks nothing of taking a nap during the sermon. I’m sure our pastor has noticed her snoring but he has been more than gracious by not mentioning it to her.

"WAKE UP MARILYN. THE SERMON IS ALMOST OVER."

Moral of this story:  When in church ….. don’t sit in front of a cartoonist !

My 94 year old mom had a bad traffic accident on August 1 and I have been spending most of my time for the past 11 days helping take care of her. Thankfully she is on the road to recovery although she is still in the hospital.
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I guess this accident jogged my memory reminding me of a cartoon I drew about a golfer who had an accident.  As everyone knows, golf is not a contact sport but when playing one of your buddies, the desire to win the match is always there.  All it takes is an ounce of competiveness to make you want to beat the socks off of your best friend.
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There is usually a lot of friendly “macho talk” going on between the competitors as to who will prevail in this game of skill ( and maybe even a little luck if you play like I do). In the cartoon I’ve drawn could it be that one of the golfers has taken the game a little too seriously?
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"I SANK A 40 FOOT PUTT ON THE LAST HOLE TO WIN THE MATCH AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW ...."

Business Cartoons Golf – AccideBusiness Cartoons Golf – Accidentnt.
This cartoon can be used for your business as an eye-catcher to attract potential customers to your site. One of many possible captions for this cartoon might be: It’s no accident when I tell you that using our product will result in your success.